2007 November 06 | Funny Stuff is all around

Archive for November 6th, 2007

Have a smile today ;)

Tuesday, November 6th, 2007

我跟我媽說：媽！我想養狗！
我媽看了我一眼…沒理我…繼續看電視……
我秉著國父革命11次才成功的精神，繼續對我媽精神轟炸
我不停地複述：媽！我要養狗！我要養狗….
我媽終於受不了了，她說：好！我答應讓你養狗！
可是……不能讓牠踏到家裡的地板，就讓你養狗！
我一聽到….當場被我媽的話轟殺，心想：不能踏到地板！難道讓小狗頭下腳上前進嗎?
我跟我同學說這件事，我同學說：這算啥！我跟你說，我跟我媽說：媽！我要養狗！

我媽想了很久…..只說了一句話：
家裡只能有一隻畜生，你自己決定，你要留下還是要走 ..

甲：「你認識剛才那個男人啊！」

乙：「嗯，算起來他應該是我親戚吧！」

甲：「啥親戚？」

乙：「我也不知道怎麼稱呼，不過他娶了我老婆。」

林老先生有天生病去看醫生。

醫生說：「不要緊，但以後你必須早點睡，多散步而且每天只能抽一根菸。」

過了兩個禮拜林老先生說：「我好多了，只是每天抽一根菸，可真累人，這麼大年紀才開始學抽菸，可真是活到老學到老。」

病人對醫生說：「哎呀，我吃的那些生蠔好像不對勁。」

「那些生蠔新鮮嗎？」醫生一面按病人的腹部一面問。

「我也不知道」

「那你撥開殼時肉色如何？」

「什麼！要撥開吃的？」

甲：我家的狗會自己出去大小便

乙：這很平常嘛！

甲：每天早上，牠還會叼當天的報紙回家！

乙：只要加以訓練，這也不太難。

甲：可是，我家沒訂報耶！

乙：＠＃＄％＆＊

單身女郎深夜返家，發現後面緊跟著一名男子～

幾度擺脫不了，她乾脆走進墳場，在一座新墳旁坐了下來，說道：『終於到家了』

只見那名男子頭也不回的飛奔出去！

行人：我請你喝杯酒吧

乞丐：我不喝酒，只是要點錢

行人：那麼，請你抽支雪茄

乞丐：我不抽煙，只是要點錢

行人：今天賽馬，我出錢下注，贏了算你的，怎樣？

乞丐：我也不賭，只是要點錢

行人：那好，你跟我回家，我要讓我太太看一個男人不抽煙不喝酒不賭錢有甚麼下場！

太太要先生幫她洗碗，先生不好意思回絕，於是把十歲的兒子叫到跟前，和顏悅色的跟他說：孩子，現在讓你練習洗碗，以後可以幫太太的忙。

兒子一臉抱怨的說：不必，以後我可以叫我兒子洗。

電影Ⅲ級

1級：好男人得到女主角。

2A/2B級：壞男人得到女主角。

3/4級：人人都可以得到女主角！

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All I Ever Learned, I Learned from Anime

Tuesday, November 6th, 2007

Original entries (#1-50) created by:
Laura Luchau (laura@luchau.org)
(Laura’s homepage at http://www.luchau.org/ )

War sucks.
You CAN have too many women.
Smart people wear glasses.
Music foreshadows plot.
The less you care about sex, the more opportunities you’ll get.
(Inversely, the harder you try, the less you’ll get.)
When you die, make a long speech, and don’t finish the last sentence.
Snow means love.
The best teams come in fives.
In space, you can hear everything.
There’s always room for flashbacks!
When in China, listen to your tour guide.
The good guy always has the BLUE glow.
Speak quietly, pilot a big mech.
Believe in goddesses.
Teachers have excellent aim with small objects.
Vengeance with a mallet is the sweetest revenge of all.
Honor is sexy; villainy is irresistible.
Women are attracted to losers; men are attracted to ANYTHING.
The coolest weapon is still the sword.
The hero is never really mad until they hurt his girlfriend.
Female androids are sexy; male androids are….male androids.
The green-haired alien girl will always betray her people for the man she loves.
School uniforms are cool only when the collar is open.
A show without sexual tension isn’t worth watching.
Love knows no race, species, or logic.
If it’s homemade but tastes bad, grin and bury it (discreetly).
Never trust a huge corporation.
Romance never comes simpler than in a triangle.
Never fall for the girl who names her mech with a French name.
Never fall in love with a psychic.
You can never have too much hair.
Sweating is a sure sign of stress.
Daydreaming leads to accidents.
Everyone wants to conquer Japan.
The cute, fuzzy creature isn’t what it seems.
Cherry blossoms mean nostalgia.
Always take gravity into account.
Settings and faces are self-generating.
Losing your temper can be therapeutic.
There’s nothing sexier than high heels on a mech.
You can never have too many subplots.
If she sings, she’s doomed.
You always remember the sad endings.
Double suicide is romantic.
Outrageous vehicles only make the hero cooler.
Nothing delays romance like unruly neighbors.
Fancy ice cream is for girls only.
The most virtuous character will die.
Hot water has innumerable benefits. (more…)

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