The Zaniest Guides To The Craziest Plans
A lot of manuals have been written over how to do things - from baking a special-recipe apple pie to picking out cool groomsmen gifts. Believe it or not, however, there are actually guides that are so strange you never thought of asking anyone about them - not your best friend, or your mom, or your favorite liquor flask. Yet there have been materials written on the subject and believe it or not, some of these topics actually get released as books.
1. How to Have Sex in the Woods
Who does not know how to have sex in the woods? This knowledge was probably hotwired into our genetic system at birth. Author Luann Colombo, however, thinks sex in the wilderness isn’t as instinctive an activity as it sounds. For this reason, she wrote a book detailing sex essentials that should be part of one’s first aid kit, finding the perfect spot for a love den, making sure one is protected from pesky plants and flies while butt-naked, and other important matters, such as how the elements affect condoms and spermicides.
2. How to Be Pope
This manual, it’s been said, was researched over the last 2,000 years. If you ever feel like becoming pope, this manual will help you navigate around the complexities that come with being the Holy See. For example, what is your papal name for and why must it always sound like the epithet of one who’s as ancient as the great California redwood? Why can’t you be The Terminator rather than John Paul? Are you allowed to enter chatrooms using the nickname Papa Pope? Who takes care of your dirty socks?
3. How to Start Your Own Country
Can you do that? Erwin Strauss says yes, and then proceeds to enumerate how. Strauss reels off everything you need to know about starting and running your own country, from revenue raising to settler recruitment. Why settle for being lord of the manor when you can be king and own a country, too?
4. How to Lose Friends and Alienate People
No, this book isn’t about torching people’s hair using engraved zippo lighters. Toby Young narrates how he spent five years looking for love in all the wrong places, and how by doing everything wrong, he finally managed to do the thing that mattered the most right - marrying the woman of his dreams.
5. How to Rent a Negro
I kid you not, there is a book with this title. Damali Ayo contends that all blacks undergo “rental” at some point in their lives. To prove her point, she includes quizzes so readers can gauge what they have been all their lives - the renter or the rented.
If there was ever any doubt in your mind that literature constantly grows, then this list of five should convince you otherwise. Knowledge is not only power, it can be a laughing matter, too.
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Tags: gifts, guides, plan, planning
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