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links for 2008-05-07
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links for 2008-04-22
Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008Funniest Jokes in the World
Monday, April 21st, 2008Funniest Joke in the World:
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: “Take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, “OK, now what?”
Runner Up:
PATIENT: “Doctor, I’ve got a strawberry stuck up my bum.”
DOCTOR: “I’ve got some cream for that.”
Another Runner Up:
A patient says, “Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: ‘Could you please pass the butter?’ But instead I said: ‘You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life.”
Still Another Runner Up:
A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man.”
The other man replies, “Yeah, well, we were married 35 years.”
One More Runner Up:
TEXAN: “Where are you from?”
HARVARD GRAD: “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.”
TEXAN: “OK - where are you from, jackass?”
And Still Another Runner Up:
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen.” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “That driver just insulted me!” The man says, “You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
Amazing - Another Runner Up:
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 degrees Celsius. The Russians used a pencil.
Last Runner Up:
A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.” The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.” The dog replied, “But that would make no sense at all!”
If you like this post, buy me a coffee. Sphere: Related ContentWhat’s new with Google Calendar
Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008Just launched!
Wake yourself up with our new Google Wake Up Kit!
Do you have trouble getting out of bed in the morning? We do, too. In fact this problem became so serious at times that it sometimes resulted in lacklustre attendance at team meetings. To help solve the problem we’ve created an innovative solution called the Google Wake Up Kit.
“I could never wake up on time to get to our team meetings. But thanks to the new Google Wake Up Kit, I’m always on time now!”
Pedro C.
In combination with the kit, you can receive a new type of notification from Google Calendar, called the “wake up” notification. This notification is relentless in ensuring your timely awakening from restful slumber.
The “wake up” notification uses several progressively more annoying alerts to wake you up. First it will send an SMS message to your phone. If that fails, more coercive means will be used. The kit includes an industrial-sized bucket and is designed to be connected to your water main for automatic filling. In addition, a bed-flipping device is included for forceful removal from your sleeping quarters. Learn more
If you like this post, buy me a coffee. Sphere: Related ContentIf Microsoft Built Cars…
Thursday, March 27th, 20081. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you’d have to buy a new car.
2. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you’d have to restart it. For some strange reason, you’d just accept this and drive on.
3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop, fail to restart, and you’d have to reinstall the engine. For some strange reason, you’d just accept this too.
4. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
5. Someone else - say, a company called Macintosh - would make a car that was powered by the sun, was twice as fast, and twice as easy to drive. But, it would only run on one road in twenty.
6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars which would make their cars run much slower.
7. The oil, engine, petrol, and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single “ERROR” warning light.
8. New seats would require everyone to have the same size backside.
9. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a “Car95″ or a “CarNT.” But, then you’d have to buy more seats.
10. The airbag system would say, “Are you sure?” before going off.
If you like this post, buy me a coffee. Sphere: Related Content100 Funny Jokes in Chinese
Thursday, March 6th, 2008What Chefs do when they are bored…
Sunday, February 3rd, 2008
Men Versus Women
Friday, January 18th, 2008
- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
- A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.
- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
- A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
- A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
- There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman- before and after marriage .
- A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
- To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
- To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
- Any married man should forget his mistakes.
- There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!
- A woman has the last word in any argument.
- Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
- Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance, while men look at a wedding as the ending of romance.
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If you like this post, buy me a coffee. Sphere: Related Contentlinks for 2008-01-16
Wednesday, January 16th, 2008-
Invest Like Harvard and Yale | From PFBlog: The Unique Personal Finance Blog Since 2003
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skop.com I Know Where Bruce Lee Lives [KeyJay, ultrainteractive KungFu Remixer]
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25 Beautiful, Minimalistic Website Designs - Part 2 | Vandelay Website Design
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Directory of over 2,000 E-Learning Tools - Free and Commercial
CFO Jobs B2BCFO.com is a national network of qualified chief financial officer consultants catering to small and mid sized companies on an as needed basis.
If you like this post, buy me a coffee. Sphere: Related Contentlinks for 2008-01-02
Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008-
Five Ways You Can Fall in Love With Tagging Again - ReadWriteWeb
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As Seen on TV: The 10 Most Laughably Misleading Ads | Cracked.com
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Year in Review: The 70 Best Lifehacks of 2007 - Lifehack.org
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Photojojo » 19 New Year’s Photo Resolutions — Goodbye 2007, Hello Two Thousand and Awesome!
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Top 25 Free Icon Resources for Web Designers | Speckyboy - Wordpress & Design