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If Microsoft Built Cars…
Thursday, March 27th, 20081. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you’d have to buy a new car.
2. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you’d have to restart it. For some strange reason, you’d just accept this and drive on.
3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop, fail to restart, and you’d have to reinstall the engine. For some strange reason, you’d just accept this too.
4. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
5. Someone else - say, a company called Macintosh - would make a car that was powered by the sun, was twice as fast, and twice as easy to drive. But, it would only run on one road in twenty.
6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars which would make their cars run much slower.
7. The oil, engine, petrol, and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single “ERROR” warning light.
8. New seats would require everyone to have the same size backside.
9. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a “Car95″ or a “CarNT.” But, then you’d have to buy more seats.
10. The airbag system would say, “Are you sure?” before going off.
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Men Versus Women
Friday, January 18th, 2008
- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
- A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.
- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
- A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
- A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
- There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman- before and after marriage .
- A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
- To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
- To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
- Any married man should forget his mistakes.
- There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!
- A woman has the last word in any argument.
- Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
- Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance, while men look at a wedding as the ending of romance.
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Wednesday, January 16th, 2008-
Invest Like Harvard and Yale | From PFBlog: The Unique Personal Finance Blog Since 2003
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skop.com I Know Where Bruce Lee Lives [KeyJay, ultrainteractive KungFu Remixer]
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25 Beautiful, Minimalistic Website Designs - Part 2 | Vandelay Website Design
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Directory of over 2,000 E-Learning Tools - Free and Commercial
CFO Jobs B2BCFO.com is a national network of qualified chief financial officer consultants catering to small and mid sized companies on an as needed basis.
If you like this post, buy me a coffee. Sphere: Related Content10 Quotes about Love
Sunday, December 30th, 20071) I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
2) No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is,
won‘t make you cry.
3) The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right
beside them knowing you can‘t have them.
4) Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never
know who is falling in love with your smile.
5) To the world you may be one person, but to one person
you may be the world.
links for 2007-12-26
Wednesday, December 26th, 2007Girls Are Like…
Tuesday, November 13th, 2007Girls are like
apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don’t want to reach for
the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
just get the rotten apples from the ground
that aren’t as good, but easy. So the apples
at the top think something is wrong with
them, when in reality, they’re amazing.
They just have to wait for the right
boy to come along, the one
who’s brave enough
to climb
all the way
to the top
of the tree.
Bitches are great people
Tuesday, November 6th, 2007BITCHOLOGY
When I stand up for
myself and my beliefs,
they call me a
bitch.
When I stand up for
those I love,
they call me a
bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts
or do things my own way, they call me a
bitch.
Being a bitch
means I won’t
compromise what’s
in my heart.
It means I live my life
MY way.
It means I won’t allow anyone to step on me.
When I refuse to
tolerate injustice and
speak against it, I am
defined as a
bitch. (more…)
50 Steps to a Happy Marriage
Wednesday, September 26th, 2007
FOR THOSE WHO TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY
Friday, September 21st, 20071. Save the whales. Collect the whole set
2. A day without sunshine is, like, night
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
11. Remember half the people you know are below average.
12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
13. Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.
14. Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
15. He who laughs last thinks slowest. (more…)
The Paradox Of Our Age
Friday, July 6th, 2007We have bigger houses but smaller families;
more conveniences, but less time.
We have more degrees but less sense;
more knowledge but less judgment;
more experts, but more problems;
more medicines but less healthiness.
We’ve been all the way to the moon and back,
but have trouble in crossing the street to meet our new neighbour.
We built more computers to hold more copies than ever,
But have less real communication;
We have become long on quantity,
but short on quality.
These are times of fast foods but slow digestion;
Tall mean but short characters;
Steep profits but shallow relationships.
It’s a time when there is much in the window
But nothing in the room.
His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama.
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