clipped from www.didyouknow.cd

Witty
Quotes

Don’t argue about the difficulties. The difficulties will argue for themselves.
- Winston Churchill

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress
depends on the unreasonable man.
- George Bernard Shaw

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller

Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.
- Slovenian proverb

Imagination is more important than knowledge.
- Albert Einstein

Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well. Think about it.
- Elias Schwartz

Everything you can imagine is real.
- Picasso

Learning is not compulsory… neither is survival.
- W. Edwards Deming

A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.
- Winston Churchill

No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of
kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

Education’s purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.
- Malcolm S. Forbes

clipped from www.thatwasfunny.com

40 Things That Only Happen In The Movies

Did you ever notice that certain things only happen in the movies, but never happen in real life? For example:

It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting.

When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it’s aired.

Creepy music (or satanic chanting) coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.

Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. UNLESS it’s the door to a burning building with a child inside.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.

clipped from aad.lomag.net

The Kiss

…

He had just saved her from a
fire in her house, rescuing her by carrying her out of the house into her front
yard, while he continued to fight the fire.

She is pregnant.

When he finally got done
putting the fire out, he sat down to catch his breath and rest.

A photographer from the
Charlotte, North Carolina newspaper, “The Observer,” noticed her in
the distance looking at the fireman.

He saw her walking straight
toward the fireman and wondered what she was going to do.

As he raised his camera, she
came up to the tired man who had saved her life and the lives of her babies,
and kissed him, just as the photographer snapped this photograph.